#BlackBusinessFridays Series: 1. Eats and Treats

In light of the failure to indite killer cops Darren Wilson and Daniel Pantaleo (who murdered Michael Brown and Eric Garner, respectively) many people feel as though we need a new civil rights movement. Like any socio-political movement, a multi tiered strategy that affects all levels of society will make the most impact. In my opinion, one of the areas we need to target is the economy.  
Black Americans have over $1 billion dollars in purchasing power. Too often we are giving our money to big box stores owned by corporations that lobby for laws that are against the best interests of our communities. I personally think we need to stop supporting this corporations and invest more of our money into black owned businesses. 
This is challenging because capitalism is so invasive - extremely large corporations own several smaller stores and most times we don't even know it. Combine that with our consumer culture that emphasizes instant gratification at low cost and it seems painfully impossible to only buy from smaller black owned businesses. 
I believe the best way is to start small and increase the number of black owned business you support over time. This is why I am supporting #BlackBusinessFriday. it's a day of the week when we go out of our way to support our own restaurants, delis, nail salons, bars and shops. 
This weeks's post focuses on black owned restaurants and dining establishments. Here is a list of businesses in Philadelphia you should consider supporting: 

Mt Airy Deli
Ms Tootsies Restaurant
Jamaican Jerk Hut
Brown Betty Bakery 

Gigi & Big R Caribbean Soul
 FoodBaltimore Crab and Seafood 
Atiya Ola's Spirit First Food
Dahlak 
Family Variety and Deli
Soul Food Cafe at Reading Terminal Market

Warmdaddy's
Breakfast Boutique
Just 2 Serve You

This list is short because I don't eat out very much unless it's for business.  Also don't forget the local bodegas owned by black Latinos. And, if you can't spend your money at a black owned business, consider spending it at a small business that employees a good number of black people. 

Next weeks posts will be on black owned businesses that provide personal health and beauty items (including online merchants.) I promise the list will be longer and more inspiring! 

Please leave the name and location of any black owned eating establishments in the comments section!

Dating someone who doesn't like your body

Usually I only write funny posts but I decided to be serious today. I am writing this post in response to “My Naked Truth” blog post written for Huffington Post. In her piece, Robin Korth describes an intimate encounter with a man who was turned off by her body. Specifically, there was one part of the story that drew me in- when confronting her love interest on the phone about why he would not make love to her, he said “I like your head and your heart. But, I just can't deal with your body." When I read these words, I felt a pang in my heart that transported me back into time, when I man said something very similar to me.

Before I talk about my own incident, let me give a brief background of my life when it comes to weight and body image issues. I was a fat kid. I was teased for it. I was laughed at when admitting to crushes on certain boys in high school, because I should have KNOWN they wouldn't want me. 15 years ago, it was a challenge to find cute age appropriate plus size clothing – way harder than it is now- so I was also an outsider for not having a fashionable wardrobe. And while I had some sweet, awesome boyfriends of various sizes that told me how beautiful I was , I still encountered my share of assholes who had no problem telling me how much more attractive I would be if I just lost weight. And that's the problem: once you hear something negative about yourself, it often sticks in your head much longer than something positive. So for years, I thought that if I just lost weight, the quality of my relationships, be them work related, friendships, or romantic, would improve.

Fast forward about 10 or so years. After a huge weight loss followed by some fluctuations, I was 5’6” at a size 12 when I met a man who was a minister at a church I was attending. He started flirting with me and in a few months we were dating. He spent a lot of time with me and was very attentive. In hindsight I realize what I mistook for affection was really a combination of his loneliness and search for a perfect woman. And by perfect I mean the spiritual fortitude of Coretta Scott King, the voice of Mahalia Jackson and the body of Beyonce.

One night we were in my living room cuddled up when he grabs at my stomach and goes “jelly jelly!” and NOT in a way that denoted that he like jelly ( and also NOT words a 35 year old man should use when talking to another adult.) Apprehensively, I asked him if he had a problem with my body. He proceeds to tell me he does not usually date women as “big” as I am but he likes me and my family, and my mom ( who hooked us up) is so nice…blah blah blah. He then proceeded to lift my shirt and examine my stomach (why a “celibate” preacher would do such a thing is a topic for another post) and asks me if my stretch marks would go away if I lost weight.

This is where the story gets embarrassingly painful to write. Not because of what he said, but because of how I handled it. What proceeded was weeks of me still dating this loser, trying to have conversation with him about why he couldn’t except me as I was, countered with him saying that since I was thinner before I could get thinner again. Weeks of me skipping lunch and not wanting to eat around him. Weeks of me wondering why my weight was why I was still technically “single” (It wasn’t the reason. It NEVER is.) Weeks of me reminding him that Proverbs 31 says nothing about the virtuous woman’s weight. Until finally, HE called things off.

After we broke up I was relived. But even more than that, I was angry. I was angry at him, yes, but even more so at myself. The second he made the first comment about my weight I should have done exactly what the author did and ended thingswith him. But, when you were the fat girl, mentally, a part of you is still always the fat girl. A part of you just wants to be accepted the way you are. You remember the difference in how people treated you when you were 250lbs vs. when you were 150lbs. I didn’t have very many insecurities – I considered myself smart, well educated, pretty, independent, witty, compassionate and funny- but on a bad day, the one insecurity of my body could outweigh all the other things I liked about myself. I was mad at myself for letting this man get the best of that insecurity. I knew deep down that wanting his acceptance was less about him and more about me. I knew that I was trying to use him as a proxy for my own self acceptance.

That was four years ago. Since then I’ve been wined and dined and loved on by quite a few nice, smart successful and VERY physically attractive men. But, more importantly, I developed a more que sera, sera, (fuck you) attitude about dating that no longer lets me ignore read flags such as disapprovingly grabbing at my jelly. As I said before, I do have bad days where I do feel fat or not so attractive, but fortunately the days where I feel strong, healthy and radiant outnumber them. Now when I lose weight, it’s more about being healthy and preventing health issues and being able to fit into my favorite jean than gaining the approval of others. I realize there are many more factors that make up a long lasting relationship that physical appearance, and I know longer look for a man or society  to approve of my body in order to feel good about myself.

Since my weight fluctuates more than Jessica Simpson’s and Oprah’s combined, I have gained and lost several pounds since then.  Recently I saw Mr. Jelly at an event. He was looking the same, but I was about 20lb thinner since he had last seen me. In true shallow man fashion, he followed me around making awkward small talk and telling me how good I looked until my mother rescued me from the conversation. “He’s only talking to you because you lost weight,” she said. I knew she was right. But she didn’t have to worry about me wanting to get back with him. 

Why do I live on the East Coast???

I recently spent 11 days in Southern California. It was simply glorious. After a harsh snow covered winter in Philadelphia I couldn't help but smile as I stared at the snow covered airport from inside my plane as it took off. 

My first stop was Los Angeles – I had to run an academic meeting at UCLA on Thursday, but I decided to arrive Tuesday so that I could prep and spend some time with my cousin. My cousin lives in Palmdale California which is about 70 miles or a 23425253 hour drive from LAX. Seriously the  traffic in Los Angeles in not exaggerated. I left the rental car company at the airport around 2 PM and did not arrive in Palmdale until after 5. however it would have gone faster had I been able to get into the carpool lane which, with its 2+ person per car requirement, seemed to have cars zooming down the highway. I strongly suggest  investing a half mannequin or a least a blow up doll if you don’t have a real person who can ride with you in the car at all times.

Palmdale is a lovely quite suburb northwest of Los Angeles. It offers mountain views and easy living. It’s the type of place where you can get a front yard back yard and pool for $130,000. needless to say there isn’t much to do there so we went to jack in the box (yuck) played with her new puppy and admired the art she has collected over the years. Here is a wood sculpture form Africa:

Anyway, we wouldn't have been able to do much because my cousin needed to go to court at 8 am the next morning and I needed to leave for the 15 hour drive back to LA to pick up my boss and prep for our meeting. Since I gave myself a nice buffer, I was able to stop at Venice Beach before getting my boss from the airport. I put my feet on sand for the first time in at least a year…it was wonderful….

We checked in at the W Westwood Hotel. So far I think it’s my favorite hotel, or at least a close second the the Palomar I stayed in at Dupont Circle in DC. It felt like a chic version of Cheers but without the depressive alcoholics – it felt like the staff all knew my name and addressed me by it all the time.  There is also a nice bar and pool.  Also it’s away from all the tourist – it’s not near Hollywood or any other sites, and it seemed like mostly business people and folks visiting family in the area stayed there. 

For dinner my boss and I went to an Italian restaurant, Taninos which was delicious. I had seafood salad and little zucchini and ricotta dumplings.  I  recommend this place if you are in the LA area

After dinner I ditched my boss and went to meet up with my high school friend Meena Ray at  a bar/club in Hollywood. Even though I had been to LA before I did not hang out or party, so I was looking forward to this. The club's name is The Room . the ambiance was cool - it was one of those places where you can dance if you want to or get a little area in the corner with your friends and sip drinks if you want to do that instead. There were also some celebrity sightings - particularly reality stars and r&B artists.

I definitely stayed out later than I planned but I was able to get out of bed on time and host a successful meeting. After dinner I planned to go to bed…but I had such a good time with Meena that I figured I should go out again. I met up at a live music place where she was promoting with her sister. Fun times and more pseudo celebs! This time a dude who supposedly was in the group All-4-one performed. Even though I sound a little mean I must admit there was a lot of talent in the place.

The next day I made my way to Santa Barbara by train. Imagine leaving a busy, hot city and taking a train ride into the mountains where each stop the train makes the scenery gets more beautiful…then you are no longer in the mountains but are then on the beach…soon you stop taking pictures because you cant keep up with the beauty. By the time I got off the train in SB I felt like I was transported to a beautiful magical island with a beach on one side and mountains to the other.

Seriously the beauty of Santa Barbara cannot be over-exaggerated. There is a reason why the richest woman in American lives in that area. I only went because my friend  Danielle got a job at UC Santa Barbara…so that’s for being employed friend!

We dropped off my things at her apartment and sat out on her balcony with a few beers. There was a banana tree in front of us and an avocado tree to the right. Imagine never having to pay $1.50 for an avocado ever again! The thought of that alone overwhelmed me, and i declared right then and there that i was never leaving Santa Barbara. We decided to dinner so that I could think things through.

We met up with some other girls from college at the HungryCat, a cute little bar/restaurant in downtown SB. We had oysters which were super fresh and briny. Next we headed out for Indian food. I wont bother telling you the place or what I ate: I though it was good but my friends are more foodies than I am and told me the Indian food is better in Philly.

The next day we went to the beach!!! It was sooooooooo refreshing to lay out in the sun in 82 degree weather after 4 months of cold and snow. The water was a bit cold but I got in to about my hips for a few minutes ( lots of people were in the ocean.) I left tanned and with my hair a shade lighter

After the beach we freshened up and hit a few winery shops in downtown SB. Wineries are a BIG deal there and for good reason- the wine is good and easily accessible. For $10 you can taste at least 6 wines at the wineries and if you buy a couple bottles the tastings are usually free. I  have a new appreciate for Pinot Noir and  Sauvignon Blanc aged in stainless steel after this visit!

The next morning we decided to drive to Solvang, a little dutch town about 45 minutes away in the mountains. We had breakfast at a place called The Succulent Pig where I had the biggest freshest and tastiest biscuit ever

Solvang is not far from Santa Ynez where there are more wineries!! Here I am at Kalyra, where the movie “ Sideways” was filmed. I had a pretty tasty Orange Muscat there, which I had only had before at a Wine festival in Annapolis Maryland. It’s too sweet for me to drink on the regular but very nice every now and again.

My next stop was San Diego! But first I had a layover in Phoenix. All I can tell from phoenix is that it is hot. Good lord it’s hot. I didn’t even leave the airport but just the twilight sun coming in through the windows almost killed me. It didn’t help that I had on my heaviest sweater wrap, a pair of ankle boots and leggings for the chilly plane ride. 

Once I got to San Diego I stayed at the Paradise Point Resort and Spa. I had a bungalow, which was basically a one bed room apartment with living room, dining area a microwave mini fridge and a walk in closet. It was bigger than my apartment at home. All was well until…..A BUG GREETED ME IN THE BATHROOM. I feared it was some sort of mutant mosquito, breed out of the radioactivity of the Fukushima power plant in Japan. On my first attempt to kill, it is simply jumped 6 away as if a show flying at it's head is an everyday occurrence. I got him on the 2nd try though!  I’m sorry little buddy but you had to die. I couldn't stand the thought of waking up to it on my face ( I also have a weird paranoia that all bugs like to cuddle in the bed with humans- but that's another story for another day)

This looks like the bug I killed. Sorry boo! I'll be sure not to kill your cousin next time!

This resort has a lot of bugs and plants and other things to which I am allergic. The first day I touched it out and attended the conference with charming welts on my neck and chest from God knows what.

The second day I wasn’t feeling too well so I stayed in and napped …the last thing I wanted was to have to see a doctor away from home, so decided to try to let my body heal itself. I started feeling better in the afternoon so I met up with the conference attendees and too a bike ride around the bay. After falling a few times and not thinking I was going to make it, I got help from a young man who was also attending the conference. He stayed with me while the others left. It was soooo kind of him! I has an amazing experience all because of this one person. the views were incredible.

Later that night I went into downtown san Diego. I do not like downtown San Diego. It was a bunch of rotten rich tourist. I bet the people who work downtown cant wait to live so they can do do fun things like paddle-boarding and jogging, not watch tourist get wasted off of margaritas and commercialized Mexican food.

Anyway I found a cute little sushi spot called the Sushi Den where I had a lobster roll and plum wine for the first time. There was only one other person there and that was fine with me! The place had good ratings on google but I suspect people weren’t there because they only offered Sapporo sake and the plum wine. Thank you, paltry alcohol menu for saving me from  obnoxious tourist.

My last day the conference ended a bit early so I left the resort and walked about 40 minutes to the beach. San Diego was not as warm as Santa Barbara or LA and I like heat! Still the beach was nice.

I was super duper tan by the end of my trip

I ended up having dinner at the Red Marlin which is restaurant at the Hyatt Hotel, not far from the island my resort was on.I enjoyed delicious butterfish and strong margaritas while joking at the bar with more obnoxious tourist. I think rich but boring businessmen from LA and San Francisco like to “getaway” to San Diego (Tijuana) for relaxation ( drugs and prostitution) and good stories to tell their equally boring colleagues.

Anyway in general I LOVE CALIFORNIA. I did not feel any earthquake that people emailed me about while I was there ( I also never felt the earthquake in Philadelphia either.) i'm sure with palm trees and year round sunshine, you don’t even notice a little shaky ground or all the tsunami evacuation route signs! The lifestyle is definitely worth the risk..people are living good over there! 

Today smells like dirty mop water, when it should smell like Revolution

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  I slept in until about 11 am. I will finish this blog piece, and then go to the gym. I’ll stop by the supermarket (a snow storm is coming) then ill do some laundry.  I’ll end my night with a movie of maybe a fashion magazine.

This isn’t so different that what I did on this day last year, or the year before. In general, I don’t do “Community Service” on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. On a micro level community service is good. Even having a designated day of community service once a year is good, because that’s the only time some people will do it. However, on the macro level, equating Dr. King’s legacy with paintbrushes and mop buckets is so problematic for me that I can’t participate.

The watering down of this man’s legacy is appalling. It starts with taking his name out of the day; how many Happy “MLK” posts have you seen so far?  We can’t even take 5 more seconds to type out the man’s full name.  We pass around that “Everyone can be great because everyone can serve,” quote instead of his quotes about American Imperialism, anti war, anti racism, and improved opportunity for African Americans (which are in fact far more numerous.) We somehow turned fighting for equal rights, economic opportunity and an ending of police harassment into cleaning up a park and painting a school building. I’m sorry, I didn’t know Dr. King was jailed and assassinated for demanding the right to do community service!!!

I understand that school buildings are falling apart. I understand that it is a lovely gesture to provide a newly painted classroom for our children. It’s nice to show them that we care about them. But this doesn’t get the crux of the problem. The problem is that many (most even) public schools that are predominately black are underfunded. They are underfunded because in our draconian funding system schools are funding primarily through property tax. The property in these neighborhoods aren’t worth a whole lot, and the property tax rate is low too…probably because if it were any higher people couldn’t afford to live there…which is because blacks on average make less money and have less net worth that whites….because they went to those same crappy schools there underfunded 20 years ago.  This goes for any social problem that calls for “community service” to serve as a way to elevate it. If you look deep enough you will find systems of inequality that are The REAL problems.  When are we going to stand up to THAT?  

I think people in my generation are just too damn comfortable. Our parents marched with Dr. King. Our parents were the ones who were shipped out to white neighborhoods on school buses to desegregate the schools. Our parents were the ones spit on and called niggers and attacked by police dogs. They went through a lot so that we can have it easier. But things still aren’t right. Black men and women are still being arrested more frequently and serving longer sentences for the same crimes whites commit. Black men are still being stopped by the police at higher rates than whites. Our black children are LITERALLY being molested and abused by police officers. There are enough abandoned homes in the U.S. to give one to every homeless person (blacks are disproportionally homeless too.) Too many of us are still poor, busted and disgusted! I’d like to see a “Day of Service” where we service each other by finding ways to fight these issues. Can we have a Martin Luther King Day of anti police brutality marches? How about a day of boycotting corporations that lobby to keep the minimum wage low and don’t pay any taxes? How about a day when we all protest in from out our congressional representatives houses?  Or day where we show our combined economic power and don’t purchase ANYTHING for 24 hours?

The things I listed above probably won’t happen. It takes strategy, long suffering and a lot of courage to stand up to our oppressors. Systemic change can’t be done in a day, and we are a generation that likes immediate gratitude. Why do that when we can just volunteer at a soup kitchen for a few hours and then treat ourselves for a “job well done” to some take out and Netflix afterwards? Things aren’t as bad as they were in the 50s and 60s, right?  The truth is we pass around that quote about service, and then do community service for a day because it’s the easiest, least controversial way to “honor” his legacy.

I got an email from a friend about donating clothes to the homeless on Marin Luther King Day as a form of community service. I honestly could not help. I just dropped off a large bag of clothing to the Circle of Hope thrift a couple weeks ago (I drop off things I don’t need to them 4-5 times a year) I was thinking about driving two hours to see Dr. Angela Davis speak tomorrow night but instead I’m going to community meting about the incident with the teenager and the police mentioned above. I’m not saying all this to toot my own horn – but rather to show that I’m constantly doing things to help others and fight the power. That’s how we all should be. And we don't need to turn a man's legacy into community service to do so.  

Even Babies Aren't safe!

HATERS. I hate this term. Mostly because people who proclaim to have haters have nothing to hate on! Haters have a certain level of jealousy, but too many people confuse haters with people that just ….hate them. We aren’t jealous of that lacefront wig.  We hate it!  If we wanted we could spend $21.99 and have 2 for the price of 1, just how you bought it from the Korean beauty supply store. We aren’t jealous of the money you posed with on you Facebook profile pic! If we actually had to go to a check cashing place with our tax refund check, we too could pose with $100 bills stacked on top of $1s.  Sometimes people are just down right ignorant and ratchet, and call anyone who tries to be a voice of reason a hater.

But today I actually saw an egregious instance of hating.  People were hating on a baby. Apparently Beyonce took her daughter out on the town. How the hell you hate on a baby? Even if you hate her mother’s yodeling or her father’s Camel cigarette ads, she’s a baby. What is there not to like? That she has elmo diapers and you feel they should be Dora? Her cheeks are TOOOOOOO chubby? The baby hairs around her forehead TOOOOOO “baby hair-ish?”

The haters say Little Girl Blue will end up looking like this. Sadness! 

Now I see why B keeps her child in hiding! People are crazy! For every person hating on this child, there are TWO people obsessed with her. I wouldn’t be surprised if some wacko tries to touch her garment thinking they will be healed of diabetes or something. People act like the cure for cancer is found in her spit up. These obsessed people then spend hours on the internet arguing with the people who hate the baby, all the while the baby shops with her mother at Bergdorf Goodman, eats, and has diamond dust sprinkled on her ass instead on baby powder ( I’d assume) with every diaper change.

I just don’t understand the obsession with celebrities and their offspring. Ever since I saw “Bronx Tale” as a teen, I basically live by what Sonny told C after he was upset about the Yankees: “If your dad ever can't pay the rent and needs money, go ask Mickey Mantle. See what happens. Mickey Mantle don't care about you. Why care about him?” I might laugh at celebrities from time to time but there isn’t one that I would actually defend.  Or become obsessed with. My favorite "celebrity" is Michelle Obama, and if I met her all by her lonesome on a dark night, I’d probably rob her rich ass.  

No priorities!

There are a few things that have me baffled about the media and human nature today. I mean, even more than usual. I’ll start with the most ridiculous first. Tonight I just cleaning up around the house and the news came on. Now I know you don’t learn anything from the local news, but I often keep it on until the next show comes on. I’m not much of a TV person but I enjoy watching reruns of funny sitcoms before bed.

The top story on the news tonight was not about a fire, or robbery, or politics or war…it was about shit. The top story: a cab driver pulls over at 5am on a residential block and takes a deuce on the side walk. The owner of the house it was outside of caught it on his security camera. He is disgusted and wants answers…..umm…….what answers do you need at this point? Yes it’s gross but everybody poops. The worse part about this is that it happened Friday and it rained Saturday…so the poop is long gone. Why must we hear about it Monday night?  The producer of this news show should be ashamed of himself, as his show is now one giant poop joke.

THIS IS NOT NEWS!!!!!!

Now on to more serious matters. Last week more info came out about the Sandusky child molestations. Apparently whole bunch of people knew, and the FBI has the emails to prove it. The crazy thing to me that people are STILL defending Joe Paterno. I understand he is dead, and I think the ONLY defense you could give him is “well, he is dead, so he isn’t here to defend himself.” But people are talking about how he is a great man and a wonderful person…..I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had a cure for cancer now! Thanks Joe!

Joe was a great football coach. That’s it! How the hell can strangers call him a wonderful person because of football? Our priorities as a country are all messed up. Today on Facebook I saw the picture of the basketball hoes of LA and people were ripping one of them apart for having the confidence to wear a bikini even though she has stretch marks! People judge this woman for feeling comfortable in her body…yet I’ve read Facebook comments wear people say we cant judge Joe because we weren’t in his shoes.

Now I know we aren’t suppose to judge anyone (leave that for God) however…..I think that if ANY situation allows for you to judgmental at ANY time in your life it would be THIS! Not only should you judge someone that kept child molestation a secret for the sake of fame and fortune, you should also feel free to assume that if you were in his shoes, you would have called the police!

 If you judge this person

you SHOULD judge this one:

My last rant is about this upcoming Quentin Taratino film “Django Unchained.” When I heard a year or so ago that he was making a comedy about slavery, my BS radar went off, due to his gratuitous use of the N-word in previous films. However I decided to keep an open mind, although in the back of my head I KNEW this film was just an excuse for him create the perfect fictional setting for him to use the N-word. Well I was right! Apparently the N-word is used 150 times in the film.

Why would I pay to hear the N-word when I can hear it for free by:

-          listening to drake, lil wayne, and all the other rappers I hate on Spotify

-          go to a Tea- Party rally

-          Play Mitt Romney’s speech to the NAACP backwards

-          having it yelled at me as I walk through the small streets of South Philly, south of Synder Ave late at night (true story)

So I mentioned on my Facebook page that I didn’t want to see it. I announced that I’m not judging anyone who does see it, or even trying to dissuade them from seeing it, but that I know myself and I will burn the theater down after about the 5 time I hear that word. Would you believe that NEGROS actually sent me private messages telling me I should change my mind and just go see it. “IT’S JUST A MOVIE,” they say.  “YOU ARE ALWAYS TOO SERIOUS TIA” they say. Why in the world does it matter whether I see it or not? You don’t need me to cosign that foolishness. I’m not gonna go see it  because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. Some of the first black people in line to see that movie are also the first ones that want to fight a white person if they call them a Nigger in real life! A LOT of white people don’t understand why they can’t black people that….and why black people get mad if they do…yet y’all want to  make a white man richer by paying to hear it 150 times! You think I’m gonna let a white person call me the N-Word without some repercussions? So it makes no sense for me to be in that theater. But apparently many of my black contemporaries have better tempers than I do. So you all go see the movie and enjoy yourselves! Have a laugh for me because I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!

It's your own damn fault you are in this mess

Well the autopsy reports are in and if seems that Whitney Houston died of a heart attack cause by cocaine and a WHOLE bunch of other shit found in her system. At first i was like " Aaawwwww HELL TO THE NO!" but like a Facebook friend said to me, " Did you really expect her system to be clean?" No I didn't. But for some reason society at large had a hard time believing that Whitney was a stone cold drug user. we always wanted to find excuses for her. First, it was "blame Bobby B." Now her family blames Ray J. This woman was more famous and wealthy than both of these men. She need not need to depend on them. So why would a woman trade in one scumbag for another?

The thing Bobby and Ray J have in commom is that they like to have a good time.They party how Whitney liked to party! That's why! She had her reasons for divorcing Bobby but I doubt they were drug related...because she kept doing the same shit after him. 

I watched the Oprah interview with Whitney's family with my mom a few weeks ago. During the interview, Bobbi Kris said something along the lines of, "my mother was an angel."  My mom yelled out "Oh Please! Your mother was a crackhead!" And it's true. I mean Whitney seemed like a nice person, but if she didn't have that money,  she'd be that bitch that stole the antenna's off of the cars in the neighborhood back in the day.  You know that crackhead that still thinks she looks as good as she did when she was 18, but now she is 44 and looks like the Crypt Keeper? But she walks around the neighborhood poking her ass out all high in the air and flirting with dudes? Yeah Whitney would be THAT CRACKHEAD. And everyone around the way would look down on her, if not hate her. I wish we weren't in denial of this, but humans are terrible shallow creatures that give to much credit to people that are good looking and/or talented.

This woman stole the antenna off your mom's 1997 Impala

Anyhoo,  Whitney is now in Heaven smoking weed out of the big bong in the sky (God only allows the organic shit) so let's talk about ppl who are still here...The Bodyguard and Slutty Bar girl

So apparently my friend The Bodyguard was not giving slutty bar girl the attention she (thought she) deserved. So, she decided to show up at his job unnannounced. This pissed the bodyguard off because, ironically his job is security at a bar and he likes to stay focused at work. 

This is the thing about slutty bar girl...she can't just sit down and relax. She had to try to be extra joe (for those of you not from Philly it means "being to familiar to soon, often to the point of being annoying) with everyone. Shortly after she got there,  she went over to the crowded bar area, and tells the bartender that he is he favorite bartender in all of Philadelphia. Got loud, drank, got drunk.  Then she went outside and asked a girl for a cigarette. The girl said no, but slutty bar girl saw that the girl had a whole pack of cigarettes, and would not take no for an answer. She girl with the cigarettes still did not want to share and this pissed off slutty bar girl, so much that she started an altercation.
Now if you like a guy, wouldn't you show him you are a down ass chick by NOT doing something that could threaten his money? Something tells me that starting a fight at a dude's job does not bring out the warm fussy feeling in his heart. This chick showed up at his predominately white job and acted like every black stereotype in the book - cussing, fighting, drinking....you would have thought it was the BET awards!
Since the Bodyguard was outside checking IDs while this was taking place, he broke up the fight and sent slutty bar girl home in a cab. The next day he got a lovely Facebook message from slutty, telling him he is a terrible person, he used her (how I'm not sure how HE used HER, since he paid for her drinks, meals and never slept with her) that he only pretends to care about people but deep down he has low self esteem...all types of crazy shit. They traded a few more insults over facebook and then stopped talking.

I know they are no longer facebook friends but can you believe she unfriended ME??? MOI of all people...who GRACIOUSLY refrained from running her over with my car when she apologized for sleeping with my ex boyfriend, confessing that she KNEW we were together the whole time. ME, the one who called her to extend my condolences when her father died, for her to tell me that she tried to keep seeing my ex boyfriend after we broke up, but he played the shit out of her and wouldn't see her anymore? ME, who only wrote these blog posts ONLY AFTER I found out she was talking about me behind my back to my friend the bodyguard, saying iI was delusional and was never my ex's "girlfriend!" ME! I'm insulted!!!! (not really)
Seriously this ho is dumb. She saw what my ex did to me, and then tried to continue to see him, only to get played by him. She got drunk and tried to sleep with my friend, only to cuss him out on facebook weeks later. What is the moral to this story? Sometimes other people aren't the problem, IT"S YOU!! It's your own damn fault. Just like Whitney smoked her own way to the big cabin in the sky, this girl dragged her pussy around town like a stray cat and then was shocked when it got (only "proverbial" I hope) fleas. Meanwhile I was the only one who kept it 100% with her, only to be defriended.
I made this same face when i realized how stupid  she really is!

Oh well. women are dumb like that. Stay tuned for the next blog post, where i will talk more about dumb women, and the men who dog them and the worst offenders WOMEN WHO RAISE LOSER ASS MEN.
xxxo
T