Even Babies Aren't safe!

HATERS. I hate this term. Mostly because people who proclaim to have haters have nothing to hate on! Haters have a certain level of jealousy, but too many people confuse haters with people that just ….hate them. We aren’t jealous of that lacefront wig.  We hate it!  If we wanted we could spend $21.99 and have 2 for the price of 1, just how you bought it from the Korean beauty supply store. We aren’t jealous of the money you posed with on you Facebook profile pic! If we actually had to go to a check cashing place with our tax refund check, we too could pose with $100 bills stacked on top of $1s.  Sometimes people are just down right ignorant and ratchet, and call anyone who tries to be a voice of reason a hater.

But today I actually saw an egregious instance of hating.  People were hating on a baby. Apparently Beyonce took her daughter out on the town. How the hell you hate on a baby? Even if you hate her mother’s yodeling or her father’s Camel cigarette ads, she’s a baby. What is there not to like? That she has elmo diapers and you feel they should be Dora? Her cheeks are TOOOOOOO chubby? The baby hairs around her forehead TOOOOOO “baby hair-ish?”

The haters say Little Girl Blue will end up looking like this. Sadness! 

Now I see why B keeps her child in hiding! People are crazy! For every person hating on this child, there are TWO people obsessed with her. I wouldn’t be surprised if some wacko tries to touch her garment thinking they will be healed of diabetes or something. People act like the cure for cancer is found in her spit up. These obsessed people then spend hours on the internet arguing with the people who hate the baby, all the while the baby shops with her mother at Bergdorf Goodman, eats, and has diamond dust sprinkled on her ass instead on baby powder ( I’d assume) with every diaper change.

I just don’t understand the obsession with celebrities and their offspring. Ever since I saw “Bronx Tale” as a teen, I basically live by what Sonny told C after he was upset about the Yankees: “If your dad ever can't pay the rent and needs money, go ask Mickey Mantle. See what happens. Mickey Mantle don't care about you. Why care about him?” I might laugh at celebrities from time to time but there isn’t one that I would actually defend.  Or become obsessed with. My favorite "celebrity" is Michelle Obama, and if I met her all by her lonesome on a dark night, I’d probably rob her rich ass.